On becoming my mom...

As a child and teen, I was absolutely sure that I would never be my mom. Last week, I had a revelation. I AM more like my mom than I could have ever imagined. My disappointment is immense. Don't get me wrong, my mom is a pretty amazing woman, who has not had the easiest of lives, and yet she powers through the hardships always believing that life will be better. I don't mind that I mostly inherited her positive personality, in that way. It's the strange quirky behaviors that have me freaked out. The way I laugh at times. The way I walk. The way I have to set up my pillows and blankets "just so" each night before bed. Yes, multiple pillows AND blankets.

The Hubby absolutely needs the temperature set to 70 in order to sleep at night. That's too cold for this native Floridian, usually. So on my bed I have three blankets that I use. Three? Why three, you ask. Well, because at the ripe old age of 40, I've been experiencing severe hot flashes, I have to throw off the blankets one at a time as the hot flash builds and then pile them back on as it subsides. It's crazy I tell you. Meanwhile, the Hubby is blissfully sleeping away enjoying his 70 degrees.

Then there is the irritability, the sleeplessness, the pain. OH, why didn't I listen as a teen, when ALL the old people (and by old yes, I mean 35 and up, lol) would complain about the daily pain!?! Who can walk at this age without creaking and cracking and groaning? Especially first thing in the morning. It's like a slow motion movie as I make  my way to the coffee pot each morning, hoping and praying I didn't forget that I'd run out of  any of the crucial coffee making supplies the day before. Seriously, there is nothing sadder than grinding my coffee beans only to find that the filters are gone and there will be no coffee that morning. That's one lesson my mom has learned, I think...never run out of the filters. Maybe one day, I'll be more like my mom, after all.

Game Night!

The last few months, the family has been gathering around the dining room table on free evenings enjoying games of Spades. It's a really nice way to reconnect with the offspring. It's been fun seeing the competitive natures tempered with the sportsmanship we've tried to instill in them since they were young.We go long periods of time where it feels like we get disconnected with one another in the Fall and Spring, with all the evening activities, so summer game nights are a real treat for me and the hubby.

While we've been focusing on Spades the last few months (it's a simple game that just needs a deck of cards, a pen and a piece of paper), there are a number of games we like to play. Uno, of course, is a family favorite. I've been tempted to purchase the Uno Attack game, but haven't yet. RackO is another game we enjoy. We have multiple Life games and pull those out on occasion. And we can't forget Monopoly. :) The male offspring requested Monopoly: Electronic Edition back a couple of years ago for Christmas. We searched and searched to no avail. Fortunately, the hubby stumbled across the game in time for Three Kings' Day. The electronic banking is fun and makes for much neater game play. :)We've considered purchasing Risk, but I wonder if the female offspring would enjoy a game like that.

What kind of games do you play with your children? Do you play as a family? What about extended family? Do you have a set family game night?

Summer is Insane

So, for most people summer is all about the lazy days laying back at the pool or the beach but here in the Florida Sun, I've managed to make myself crazy trying to keep up with summer activities. Because we homeschool, I have a lot of control over the busyness during the "traditional" school year. To help with that busyness, we take a lot of time "off" for trips, activities and life. When the offspring were younger, we'd get quite a bit of school done during the insanely hot summer months because none of us cared to be out in heat.

NOW, however, those offspring are nearly grown and have lives of their own with multiple interests pulling in multiple directions. Camps and sports and programs and friends and movies and ....the lists go on. So less school work has gotten done, than planned. Sheesh...I always thought that the nice spacing of ~2.5 years between each of the offspring would be a benefit, and it was - when we were talking diapers and potty training and baby clothes. But now, not so much. One almost adult, one smack dab in the middle of the teen years and one who is very nearly a teen (and might as well be because almost everyone she hangs out with is a teen) makes for some real busyness.

This summer we've added travel softball for the youngest. It's been fascinating. She plays on a 14u because there were no open spaces on the 12u teams. She has had a fantastic time and hopes to stay with these girls as they all move up to 16u now that the 2012 travel season is over. That kinda freaks me out. She's only 11, but if they are willing to let her continue to play with their team and she's enjoying it (and improving her skills) then hubby and I think that she should continue with them.

As usual, we've continued with the musical theater program for the older girl offspring. She was so happy to be cast as the "heroine" of the Summer camp production. She does such a great job. At the end of camp, they announced the fall production. They'll be performing The Sound of Music. I'll be honest and say, this is not my favorite, lol. It does provide quite a number of parts, however, allowing for the largest number of students able to participate. 11yo has begged and pleaded to be allowed to participate, if we can work out the schedule I think that we will. She may have to miss a few rehearsals for games, but we'll do what we can to minimize that. So we'll probably have three "stars" this fall, lol.

The male offspring has grown and matured beyond belief. It's hard to imagine that he'll be an adult in just over a year. Hubby and I are trying very hard to be the kinds of parents that will allow him to mature and advance to adulthood in the healthiest way possible. We just are really sure what kind of parents those are, lol. We were both out of high school and in college at 17 and were making our own decisions, so we are kind of following that model for our own children. It worked out pretty good for us, I suppose, with a few bumps and bruises along the way. He'll begin dual enrollment at the local State College this fall. He is actually looking forward to that. (I was surprised.)

Personally, I'm overwhelmed with the idea of dual enrollment. I have to navigate the admissions process and I'm feeling a bit reticent to do so, lol. Unusual for me, as I'm not usually one to back off from a challenge, but age is catching up with me, I fear. LOL.  So, one more month of summer, wonder how it will turn out...how's summer in your neck of the woods?

La di da...look who's posting?

What a frustrating few months we've had. We closed out softball season, thankfully. But we are already planning for fall. Emma made a 14U travel softball team for now. She enjoys playing with the older girls and we feel that it will help her improve quickly. We are, of course, looking for a 12U team for her to play on if the opportunity comes up. She can't pitch at the 14U level, yet, since she JUST moved up from 10U this spring. That was a huge jump in distance and size of the ball. 14U adds another 3 feet to the pitching distance.

Raina and Jacob had a great time performing in our local drama program. They presented Suessical, Jr and had a great time. Jacob followed his usual pattern of holding multiple roles in the play. Raina was asked to be a student leader. I'm very proud of both them. Here they are in their costumes:

Unfortunately, immediately following the production we began to fall sick. Everyone has been on antibiotics at least once and I'm looking at another round right now. My tonsils feel like they are softballs in my throat, lol. So frustrating. ARGH

I will not be sick in 2 weeks!!! I have a trip to look forward to. Chicago!!!!! I can't wait, all my closest e-maginary friends :) I've never been to Chicago, so I'm really looking forward to new experiences.

Right now I'm wondering if my offspring will ever finish their math, however. Emma is screaming NNNNNOOOOOOO as I tell her to get her math book. Okay, not really, but she has ignored me now twice, but now she's off to get her book. LOL. Off to do a math lesson :)

Maybe the Mayans had it right?

2012 has NOT been a great year, thus far. Seriously.

Last week I spent 2.5 days in the hospital for a kidney infection. Seriously, where'd that come from? They suspect that I passed a stone. I believe it, the pain was awful! It felt just as bad as Transition, for longer. NEVER want that to happen again. The ER did a CAT scan and then issued a cordial invitation to stay upstairs in a comfy private room. I was just happy to be getting the pain meds. Thankfully, everything was under control by Friday afternoon and they let me come home. I certainly missed my hubby and kids.

Monday morning started out in a most depressing way. Our dog, Riley, passed away. He was almost 10 years old but was fine the day before. We're not sure why he passed away. We came out to him not able to move. As I was making plans for Son and I to take him to the vet, he took his last breath. It was heartbreaking, especially since it hasn't even been two years since we lost Pluto to cancer.

Add that to the tragedies that family and friends have suffered since the beginning of the year and I'm stressed out. Beginning to wonder if those Mayans had it right ending the calendar in December this year. ;)  Just kidding, sort of. LOL

Hopefully, tomorrow will be a good day, however. We have lots of giggling girls coming to visit from our homeschool support group. We'll stamp things and chatter and snack and play. FUN! :)

Happy, er, second week of the New Year!

Yay! Woohoo! Auld lang syne and all that stuff! :)

Yeah, I know I'm late. As usual. Forgive me, please?

So welcome to 2012. You gotta wonder what's going to happen this next year, don't ya? I know I do. My son turned 16 last September, so I expect this is going to be a year of him spreading his wings and stretching his boundaries. My mother's heart will be proud of him, while at the same time, aching at the thought of my little boy growing up. I suspect homeschooling to get a bit more intense as the younger two move up into high school and middle school. Can't really say much about my uber private hubby, so I'll just say that he's good and he's so good to me. And leave it at that.

As for myself, I'm hoping that the new year will bring me a bit more discipline and self-control. I'm guessing that's probably not all that likely. After all, it's been FORTY years already and it's not happened. :p Yes, you read THAT right, the big 40 attacked me three days before Christmas 2011. Dagnabit and doggoneit! How did that happen? No, really, HOW did that happen? I still remember being 12 and thinking that 18 was so far away. And then being 16 and thinking that 30 was just terribly old. And now? NOW? FORTY!!!! Holy crimoles!  Okay, enough of that. Seriously, I do plan on being just a wee bit more disciplined in the eating department and the schooling department and maybe in the cleaning, nah, who am I kidding? Just the first two.

My hope for this year is debt related, as in "get out of it". My dreams are for hubby to have a job that he really loves. My expectations are that there is going to be a lot of fun stuff going on for us this year with softball and theater.

So got any hopes, dreams or expectations for 2012?

I know why I struggle to post on my blog.

My husband is an intensely private person. And I'm not a big fan of sharing stuff that might embarrass my children, so there ya go. Not much to write about. LOL. So I'm going to have to work on that. I might have to become the strange aunt that no one wants to talk about so that I'll have something interesting to blog about.


One interesting thing that's happened recently - my older two auditioned for parts in The Musical Adventures of Oliver Twist. They both were cast in the play. My older daughter, Raina, was cast as Mrs. Corney/Mrs. Bumble and my son, Jacob as Mr. Sowerberry (the undertaker) and also as the villian, Bill Sikes. Fun stuff!

Emma, my youngest is very sad that she can't be in the musical, but she is a pitcher (fastpitch softball) and the rehearsal schedule and game times conflict. My hubby has taken on the daunting task of coaching (at my pleading and begging, seeing as I'm the head of our area's girls' softball league) and I think will make a terrific coach. He loves the girls and enjoys learning every tidbit of information he can about coaching. Besides, it gives him something else to think about other than his extremely stressful job.

Me, I'm just running around like a chicken with no head. Sigh...Stuff for church, stuff for softball and stuff like educating my kids. Eek. I'm still trying to cobble together my Core 100 for the older two. Thankfully, I'm pretty set for Emma. I love Sonlight but we just can not order the whole core this year. (remember I mentioned that stressful job of hubby's? Yeah, they cut all overtime AND reduced his pay by 3% even though he hasn't had a raise in over three years. The joys of being a public servant, eh?) Thankfully I have Amazon Prime and Paperback Swap. They've been wonderful resources :) Not to mention, my precious Kindle! Love that thing, best gift from hubby in a long time. So, I'll muddle through ordering school stuff and maybe we'll start before Thanksgiving. Good thing I'm a pretty laid back person! Rest assured, the kids are still learning.

Jacob is taking Latin, Algebra and Physical Science through FLVS. Raina is taking Math. She has one more assignment to complete in her 7th grade math class. Her teacher called last week and suggested we skip straight to Algebra 1. So that's the plan. I think it's a pretty good one :D

Well then, I guess that's a pretty good post, eh? And I didn't even have to put on a funny hat and talk to an imaginary friend. I'll call that success! ;)

I Don't Wanna Grow Up!

Today, I went with my Step-dad to see his surgeon. He has an official diagnosis of Diffuse Large B-cell Lymphoma. The next step is staging. He will get a PET Scan and have some other tests run in order to determine what stage the disease is in. This is certainly not the most fun I've ever had.

I find myself running through different scenarios in my head, some better than others. I have to admit this is one of those times when a sibling or two would really come in handy. I live over 300 miles away from my mom & step-dad. This makes me uneasy. My mom does not drive. She's has her own physical limitations that she's in denial about and she really doesn't like to hear me talk about things that remind her she's getting more fragile herself. She's always prided herself in taking  care of things without outside help, she's not wanting to even look at her options.

Honestly, I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself. That's my true selfish nature, there. It's hard to imagine that my parents are actually getting old. In my head, I'm sure that I'm only 21, so how can my parents be so old? The truth is I'm pushing 40, I mean REALLY pushing 40, so that means they are... Well, yeah, old. I want to stomp my feet and yell about how it's not fair, but the naked truth is that I have an extremely charmed life compared to so many others. My "not fair" would look so dern good to them. So, for now, I'll put on those big girl panties and go act like a grown up.  At least, for now.

Stagnant

Tonight in a meeting, I made a passing comment that has come back to mind a number of times. Call it a conviction, if you'd like. I think I shall, because it feels that way to me.

The gist of what I said is that I felt my Christian walk was much stronger, deeper, more mature when I was in high school/college. As I struggle with the things of adulthood (aging, teenage children, bills, household chores, shall I continue?) I'm afraid that I lost some of the zeal and fire of my youth. I know that it doesn't have to be this way, others have modeled a lifetime of passion in service to the God of Creation. So, what's my problem?

I bet I resemble too many Christian moms in this. We try to do the best job we can taking care of our families that we often put ourselves last, not just physically, but also emotionally and, more importantly, spiritually.

In the part few years I've become convinced that I need to take better care of myself physically and I have made some changes to do so, but until tonight I truly didn't realize that my spiritual growth had stagnated and needed some special attention, too.

Don't get me wrong, I didn't walk away from faith, I served in church, I loved God, I worshiped, I prayed...all the things I was supposed to do, but I truly don't think I've progressed much past the place I was some, er, 15 years ago.

I think it's time. What about you? Has it been a while since you've experienced some growth in your Christian walk? What are some of the barriers that have kept you from growing? If you've "been here, done this" how have you worked to overcome the barriers to growth? I'm listening.

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Contentment vs. Complacency

So I've had this post rolling around in my head for some time. I'm still struggling with how to word the ideas in my head, but I'll give it a go.

A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to listen to a friend and she struggled with some issues in her relationships with her family. This past year has been very difficult for everyone in her family. Some very serious decisions had to be made and so much good has come from making them. Now many people have said to her to be happy things are better now than they were last in the past even if there are struggles in areas that haven't changed that are still causing so much pain and strife. And while I agree, in theory, that things are better than they were and that should bring her much happiness, I cannot agree that she should not strive for more than what she has. She should not just be happy with the situation she lives in. The damage that could occur to her family is there if she "just accepts" that the changes that have been made are enough.

It brought to mind the idea of being content but not complacent. I've learned to be content in my life, accepting that each day is a blessing, another day to love my family and friends and to serve God and the community. But if I just accept that and grow complacent with the things I have or the person I am now, I will have failed. There are so many things in my physical, emotional and spiritual lives that can be improved. My body needs to be healthier, my home needs upkeep and some major repairs, my relationships with my husband and children need nurturing and love, my relationships with friends need time and communication and, most importantly, the time that I spend with God needs priority.

So, have you settled for what you have and where you are in life? Or do you live happily while striving to improve yourself and your environment?

Not A Supermom: Christmas Giveaway--Penzeys Spices!

Not A Supermom: Christmas Giveaway--Penzeys Spices!: "I'm not a great cook, but I do like good-quality ingredients. I think this makes my humble offerings turn out better than they otherwise w..."

It's too dern cold out!

I'm done with it. Seriously, I really enjoy a cold snap here in South Florida but two serious cold fronts in a row may be too much for this Florida native. The inside of my house is 62 degrees. I sure hope the sun heats it up soon.

In better news, I'm having a blast with my new Captivate Android phone. In fact, I'm using it to post this blog entry. How cool is that? It's a huge transition from my Blackjack II, that's for sure.

Here's to a great day! (well, if it warms up, anyway. LOL)

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It's dark outside this morning. For some of you, that probably doesn't come as a surprise. For me, sometimes I forget that there are people who get up before the sun. It's a strange feeling for me to sit in a dark, quiet house with all my children snoozing in their beds. Usually, by the time I'm rolling out of bed, at least one of my offspring is up making noises. *we won't mention that usually those noises are electronic in kind

But this morning, it is dark and quiet and I'm sitting here playing on my computer, contemplating the day. Schoolwork for the kids, at least a little, anyways. Physical Therapy for me. A long work day for my beloved. More coffee for sure.

Oh, and a shout out to my lovely friend, Sooze, who kindly let me know that I've been ignoring my blog way too long. Thanks, Sooze!

Not a Happy Anniversary

So today was the 9th anniversary. I don't have to tell you of what, do I? I think we all know what happened the morning of September 11th, 2001. Some folks have been posting where they were that morning. I was home. The kids and I had just returned from my morning shift as a crossing guard and I had this idea to turn on the television in my room. I did not usually do this as we were new homeschoolers and I was trying my hardest to fit our homeschool into a mold that, come to find out in later years, was not the one that worked best for us.

As I went about my room, doing whatever I was doing, the news interrupted the normal broadcast and announced something had caused an explosion at the World Trade Center. All cameras available were trained on the towers. This got my attention and I sat down to watch and see what was going on just as the second plane struck. SURREAL. That describes the feeling at the time. I just couldn't even focus on anything else.

The changes in our society since that time have seemed so many and, yet, so few. Some of those changes have been in our interpersonal relationships. I see and hear of so many people who live there lives based on fear and use that day as one example of why they should. What a sad existence that must be. This morning, I remember 9/11/01 and all of the people who were lost that day, by loving my family and friends and celebrating the life we have. I can't imagine that those who no longer can do that would want anything less than that.

Happy Memorial Day!

We are having a quiet day here at home, eating hamburgers and watermelon. But we are very aware that we have many men and women to whom we owe our gratitude for sacrificing daily to help make the United States of America into the greatest country in the world (at least in my opinion). So, many thanks to all of you, soldiers and your families, from the past to the present for the freedoms your sacrifices have made available to each and every one of us.

What I'm doing...cuz you've been on pins and needles, right?

My life lately seems like a bunch of appointments, :)

I don't mind, but it's sure a good thing we home school. I honestly don't know how folks with children in school (public or private) manage all the dentist, doctor, orthodontist, etc... appointments. Yesterday, all three children had their cleanings. Good news not a cavity amongst them. Yay! This was Emma's last cleaning before she gets her first phase of braces on. (yes, I said first phase. Like Raina, she'll probably have to have braces again as a teen, but hopefully a first phase will reduce the amount of movement and pain the second phase brings) It was Raina's first time without her braces. She said it hurt more because they could really get in there and get to everything. LOL. I told her to floss more.

Today, we visit the orthodontist for a followup on Raina's teeth to see how they are doing out of braces and a regular check for Jacob. I sure hope he's been wearing his bands enough. I think I'm helping orthodontist buy his yacht.

On top of those, I have physical therapy three times a week. It's great, because I need to strengthen my core muscles. I spent two weeks flat on my back, it was horrible. I don't ever want to do that again.

I'm still waiting to hear about the presidency for the girls' softball league. I hope to hear ASAP so that we can start getting the word out. School is out at the end of May and we need to get the flyers in the schools before then. Off to the orthodontist then...catch ya later.

Today is the National Day of Prayer

Please, take the time to spend some time in prayer, whatever your beliefs and whatever your nationality and pray for the leaders of your country. Today, we pray in the US for our President, Vice-President, Senate and Congress and for our state officials.

The Fragility of Life

This week has been so difficult for me. So many reminders of how fragile life is. Reminders that my life is rarely touched by tragedy or disaster. I forget how blessed and protected I am from how life works for so many people. Even with Miguel working the job that he does, dealing with what some call the dregs of society in our county's jail, I forget that the world is not as sunshiny and cheerful as it is on my little acre here in South Florida.

In the last few weeks, I have had friends whose five year old daughter with down syndrome has been diagnosed with leukemia. A well respected family in our homeschool world whose grandchild was born at 22 weeks and went home to be with the Lord after a 10 day fight for life. A lovely missionary who've I've come to know through online chats and forums whose surprise, but most welcome, pregnancy was lost while traveling on furlough to raise money for their life's work in Mexico. And a respected college professor who I'd love to teach at the college my children would attend(whenever that happens) whose family member has been diagnosed with what will most likely be end stage cancer. Life is not all sunshine and roses, no matter how much we'd like it to be. Sometimes, I forget that.

As a Christian, it's so easy to throw out a pat answer of "God is in control", "We can't know His purposes" or "He'll get you through this." I'm not sure how I'd feel if I were the one hearing these things. All I can say is, "I'm so sorry. I'll be right here if you need me."

Tiaras and Tommy Guns

So, the other day, my youngest was terribly funny. The latest craze for my girls is to create a mess, er, a masterpiece with the art supplies. My youngest discovered that if she cut out shapes from the cereal boxes and wrapped them with aluminum foil, she could make tiaras. It was such a wonderful girly way to play and she was having such fun, I just left her to it. Admittedly, I was dreading the clean up fight.

About an hour later, she started bugging me about something as I was on my computer playing, er, doing massively important research and I tried to ignore her. Apparently, she was not fond of my ignoring her, but left. About 5 or 10 minutes later she was back. "MOM, look!" she demanded. So I turned my head to look and as I did so, she said, "you need to listen to me now or I'll shoot." Sigh...she had "built" a huge double barrel, um, GUN? out of two milk jugs taped together and decorated. Not so girly, huh?

I'm spending way too much time on that marvel called Facebook, lol...

But here's a funny to share with you. From what I understand they mine some photos for the ads that show at the side of the pages, I'm okay with that somewhat, I guess. But sometimes they just crack me up. Do they really not pay attention? Here's my latest fave:





LOL, Seriously? is that what Americans with over $10K in credit card debt look like? I sure hope not, that's just scary...