Maybe the Mayans had it right?

2012 has NOT been a great year, thus far. Seriously.

Last week I spent 2.5 days in the hospital for a kidney infection. Seriously, where'd that come from? They suspect that I passed a stone. I believe it, the pain was awful! It felt just as bad as Transition, for longer. NEVER want that to happen again. The ER did a CAT scan and then issued a cordial invitation to stay upstairs in a comfy private room. I was just happy to be getting the pain meds. Thankfully, everything was under control by Friday afternoon and they let me come home. I certainly missed my hubby and kids.

Monday morning started out in a most depressing way. Our dog, Riley, passed away. He was almost 10 years old but was fine the day before. We're not sure why he passed away. We came out to him not able to move. As I was making plans for Son and I to take him to the vet, he took his last breath. It was heartbreaking, especially since it hasn't even been two years since we lost Pluto to cancer.

Add that to the tragedies that family and friends have suffered since the beginning of the year and I'm stressed out. Beginning to wonder if those Mayans had it right ending the calendar in December this year. ;)  Just kidding, sort of. LOL

Hopefully, tomorrow will be a good day, however. We have lots of giggling girls coming to visit from our homeschool support group. We'll stamp things and chatter and snack and play. FUN! :)

Happy, er, second week of the New Year!

Yay! Woohoo! Auld lang syne and all that stuff! :)

Yeah, I know I'm late. As usual. Forgive me, please?

So welcome to 2012. You gotta wonder what's going to happen this next year, don't ya? I know I do. My son turned 16 last September, so I expect this is going to be a year of him spreading his wings and stretching his boundaries. My mother's heart will be proud of him, while at the same time, aching at the thought of my little boy growing up. I suspect homeschooling to get a bit more intense as the younger two move up into high school and middle school. Can't really say much about my uber private hubby, so I'll just say that he's good and he's so good to me. And leave it at that.

As for myself, I'm hoping that the new year will bring me a bit more discipline and self-control. I'm guessing that's probably not all that likely. After all, it's been FORTY years already and it's not happened. :p Yes, you read THAT right, the big 40 attacked me three days before Christmas 2011. Dagnabit and doggoneit! How did that happen? No, really, HOW did that happen? I still remember being 12 and thinking that 18 was so far away. And then being 16 and thinking that 30 was just terribly old. And now? NOW? FORTY!!!! Holy crimoles!  Okay, enough of that. Seriously, I do plan on being just a wee bit more disciplined in the eating department and the schooling department and maybe in the cleaning, nah, who am I kidding? Just the first two.

My hope for this year is debt related, as in "get out of it". My dreams are for hubby to have a job that he really loves. My expectations are that there is going to be a lot of fun stuff going on for us this year with softball and theater.

So got any hopes, dreams or expectations for 2012?

I know why I struggle to post on my blog.

My husband is an intensely private person. And I'm not a big fan of sharing stuff that might embarrass my children, so there ya go. Not much to write about. LOL. So I'm going to have to work on that. I might have to become the strange aunt that no one wants to talk about so that I'll have something interesting to blog about.


One interesting thing that's happened recently - my older two auditioned for parts in The Musical Adventures of Oliver Twist. They both were cast in the play. My older daughter, Raina, was cast as Mrs. Corney/Mrs. Bumble and my son, Jacob as Mr. Sowerberry (the undertaker) and also as the villian, Bill Sikes. Fun stuff!

Emma, my youngest is very sad that she can't be in the musical, but she is a pitcher (fastpitch softball) and the rehearsal schedule and game times conflict. My hubby has taken on the daunting task of coaching (at my pleading and begging, seeing as I'm the head of our area's girls' softball league) and I think will make a terrific coach. He loves the girls and enjoys learning every tidbit of information he can about coaching. Besides, it gives him something else to think about other than his extremely stressful job.

Me, I'm just running around like a chicken with no head. Sigh...Stuff for church, stuff for softball and stuff like educating my kids. Eek. I'm still trying to cobble together my Core 100 for the older two. Thankfully, I'm pretty set for Emma. I love Sonlight but we just can not order the whole core this year. (remember I mentioned that stressful job of hubby's? Yeah, they cut all overtime AND reduced his pay by 3% even though he hasn't had a raise in over three years. The joys of being a public servant, eh?) Thankfully I have Amazon Prime and Paperback Swap. They've been wonderful resources :) Not to mention, my precious Kindle! Love that thing, best gift from hubby in a long time. So, I'll muddle through ordering school stuff and maybe we'll start before Thanksgiving. Good thing I'm a pretty laid back person! Rest assured, the kids are still learning.

Jacob is taking Latin, Algebra and Physical Science through FLVS. Raina is taking Math. She has one more assignment to complete in her 7th grade math class. Her teacher called last week and suggested we skip straight to Algebra 1. So that's the plan. I think it's a pretty good one :D

Well then, I guess that's a pretty good post, eh? And I didn't even have to put on a funny hat and talk to an imaginary friend. I'll call that success! ;)

I Don't Wanna Grow Up!

Today, I went with my Step-dad to see his surgeon. He has an official diagnosis of Diffuse Large B-cell Lymphoma. The next step is staging. He will get a PET Scan and have some other tests run in order to determine what stage the disease is in. This is certainly not the most fun I've ever had.

I find myself running through different scenarios in my head, some better than others. I have to admit this is one of those times when a sibling or two would really come in handy. I live over 300 miles away from my mom & step-dad. This makes me uneasy. My mom does not drive. She's has her own physical limitations that she's in denial about and she really doesn't like to hear me talk about things that remind her she's getting more fragile herself. She's always prided herself in taking  care of things without outside help, she's not wanting to even look at her options.

Honestly, I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself. That's my true selfish nature, there. It's hard to imagine that my parents are actually getting old. In my head, I'm sure that I'm only 21, so how can my parents be so old? The truth is I'm pushing 40, I mean REALLY pushing 40, so that means they are... Well, yeah, old. I want to stomp my feet and yell about how it's not fair, but the naked truth is that I have an extremely charmed life compared to so many others. My "not fair" would look so dern good to them. So, for now, I'll put on those big girl panties and go act like a grown up.  At least, for now.

Stagnant

Tonight in a meeting, I made a passing comment that has come back to mind a number of times. Call it a conviction, if you'd like. I think I shall, because it feels that way to me.

The gist of what I said is that I felt my Christian walk was much stronger, deeper, more mature when I was in high school/college. As I struggle with the things of adulthood (aging, teenage children, bills, household chores, shall I continue?) I'm afraid that I lost some of the zeal and fire of my youth. I know that it doesn't have to be this way, others have modeled a lifetime of passion in service to the God of Creation. So, what's my problem?

I bet I resemble too many Christian moms in this. We try to do the best job we can taking care of our families that we often put ourselves last, not just physically, but also emotionally and, more importantly, spiritually.

In the part few years I've become convinced that I need to take better care of myself physically and I have made some changes to do so, but until tonight I truly didn't realize that my spiritual growth had stagnated and needed some special attention, too.

Don't get me wrong, I didn't walk away from faith, I served in church, I loved God, I worshiped, I prayed...all the things I was supposed to do, but I truly don't think I've progressed much past the place I was some, er, 15 years ago.

I think it's time. What about you? Has it been a while since you've experienced some growth in your Christian walk? What are some of the barriers that have kept you from growing? If you've "been here, done this" how have you worked to overcome the barriers to growth? I'm listening.

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Contentment vs. Complacency

So I've had this post rolling around in my head for some time. I'm still struggling with how to word the ideas in my head, but I'll give it a go.

A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to listen to a friend and she struggled with some issues in her relationships with her family. This past year has been very difficult for everyone in her family. Some very serious decisions had to be made and so much good has come from making them. Now many people have said to her to be happy things are better now than they were last in the past even if there are struggles in areas that haven't changed that are still causing so much pain and strife. And while I agree, in theory, that things are better than they were and that should bring her much happiness, I cannot agree that she should not strive for more than what she has. She should not just be happy with the situation she lives in. The damage that could occur to her family is there if she "just accepts" that the changes that have been made are enough.

It brought to mind the idea of being content but not complacent. I've learned to be content in my life, accepting that each day is a blessing, another day to love my family and friends and to serve God and the community. But if I just accept that and grow complacent with the things I have or the person I am now, I will have failed. There are so many things in my physical, emotional and spiritual lives that can be improved. My body needs to be healthier, my home needs upkeep and some major repairs, my relationships with my husband and children need nurturing and love, my relationships with friends need time and communication and, most importantly, the time that I spend with God needs priority.

So, have you settled for what you have and where you are in life? Or do you live happily while striving to improve yourself and your environment?

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